How about we make MOTHERHOOD a requirement for the presidency?

This story is not an endorsement piece, it’s an invitation to explore new criteria and alternative methods for leadership.

Let me tell you why, as a progressive, I’m voting for Warren in the primaries. And why motherhood is a very good reason to do so.

We need a turnaround before humanity falls off a cliff. A paradigm shift, a green new deal, and so much more. I believe both Warren and Sanders want to achieve this, and I think they will only succeed if they collaborate. The question at hand as we barrel into Super Tuesday is which ONE person will lead the Democratic party. Let’s just notice that this is a “winner take’s all” situation in which coming second place means losing. Could we possibly have a different end for political races? We’ll get to that.

For now, seeing as I must choose just one progressive candidate, my primary vote will be for Warren. Because motherhood.

I’m the founder of a mother’s support network. I’ve dedicated my life to helping mothers feel seen, heard, and held. Because whenever and wherever the mothers are supported, the entire community thrives.
Part of my work includes making up words and concepts. About two years ago I suggested, “Mother Up” as a new call for action. It’s time we stopped expecting humanity to man up. It’s not working. Let’s MOTHER UP! instead. “Mother Up!” is everything we like about “man up”, just without the “walk it off, be tough at all costs” toxic bits. Think “buckle up”, but with a commitment to replacing competition with compassion and shifting our aim from wining to nurturing.

“Mother Up!” calls for dismantling the patriarchy, the root of colonialist capitalism, racism, sexual assault, and environmental destruction. You could trace every evil “-ism” right back to the patriarchy if you cared to look critically.

How do we Mother Up?
A good first step would be to make MOTHERHOOD a requirement for the presidency. For at least a generation. If you’re having a strong negative reaction to this, please question it. Why should this scare or anger you?

Mothers nurture. Through sharing. Mothers protect, collaborate, nourish. Mothers end wars and put out fires a lot more often than we start them. Mothers birth, tend, and let go. Mothers unite and elevate.

The command/plea/invitation to Mother UP! is for all humans. One could Mother UP! regardless of gender or reproductive status. And obviously biological motherhood is no guarantee of a maternal attitude. As my friend Stephen pointed out, Margaret Thatcher and Indira Ghandi were both mothers when they took office. So was Sarah Palin when she ran. Ivanka Trump is a mother right now. None of them united or elevated people particularly well. So maybe we should give the criteria for leadership a different word. How about Mothership? That way it’s a state of being rather than a biological experience. Can men, and women who don’t have children (all reasons valid), as well as gender-fluid people Mother Up! or attain Mothership? Of course. Since we are declaring and defining these terms, we can make the definitions inclusive. The bottom line is aa commitment to a set of nurturing principles that drive choices and behavior, especially the distribution of power and the allocation of resources.

For many moms, it was the struggles of motherhood, specifically, the absurdities of mothering in a society that treats mothers like candy wrappers, that shifted our political views towards progressive ideas such as universal healthcare, universal childcare and the understanding that we can’t have a healthy society without access to both. And just like motherhood can fine-tune the soul, unattained motherhood can also bend the spirit towards service. The caring for children as well as the yearning for them can turn women into compassionate and eloquent community leaders. After 4 years with a predatory president, the attitude of motherhood is sorely missing from the oval office. I would like to change that.

While we’re on the subject of bringing compassion into the Whitehouse, how about we required the president/VP team to include more than one gender? Can we make ending gender discrimination a priority when choosing and appointing leaders?

We must. If we don’t end sexism, we will all burn in wars and drown in floods. I’m calling on our progressive leaders to join forces. Together they could be unstoppable. But I sense that with Warren in the lead, they would be gentler. What’s even more important, their followers would be. Gentleness has never been seen as the best criterion for leadership, but in the spirit of AND rather than OR, I want to see powerful leaders behaving gently and thoughtfully more often. And I want to see them inspiring good behavior in their followers. My Bernie base friends tell me it’s not fair to blame Sanders for his worst followers. And frankly, I don’t know how to respond to that. Yes, it may not be Bernie’s fault that so many thugs find him attractive, but it is surely a credit to Warren that we don’t see thuggish behavior from her camp. There are no toxic “Warren Sistahs” equivalent to the “Bernie Bros” syndrome. I bet it’s because her base is full of mothers.

I have a suggestion for Bernie and his followers: get behind Warren exactly for the purpose of modeling how we end the patriarchy. Bring all your power and passion with you. Pivot from competition to modeling cooperation as an evolutionary political winning strategy.

Can anyone imagine this actually happening?
Imagine Bernie healing the world by electing to serve as second in command (VP or something else, the title is secondary). Imagine someone of his visionary caliber choosing the leadership leap to second place, deliberately taking a supportive role to an extremely qualified woman (precisely because she is a woman.) Imagine this not reducing Bernie’s power or his influence in the least. On the contrary, a Warren/Sanders Democratic ticket would transcend the question of electability and would be a fantastic wrecking ball to the uninterrupted patriarchal streak of the American presidency.

We all know Warren will get behind Bernie if he wins the nomination. Her base expects this of her, which is significant. It bothers me that loud voices in the Bernie base call him to run as an independent if the nomination is stolen from him again (it’s irrelevant whether in 2016 it was stolen or not). While that option may be attractive for the poetic justice, it would be a disastrous confirmation of impaired judgment that will hand the elections to the monsters.

The Bernie camp is understandably eager for a revolution.
I’m not. Enough violence.

We deserve something we don’t have a word for: a combination of fierce boundary-setting and unwavering commitment to nourishment for all.
Who will win the elections if, instead of just one, we could have three or four co-leaders? America will win.
Imagine the power of Warren, Sanders, Klobuchar and Buttigieg pooled together. What a beautiful tide we could have, with their strengths combining in the form of checks, balances, energy, and resources. How about we leverage the best of all of them together instead of having them tear each other apart? Can you imagine a primaries process that would not just elect the commander in chief, but also the cabinet members? What would primaries look like if the leading four candidates would have to collaborate throughout the 4 years? But since that’s not happening anytime soon, I’ll be voting for Warren.

My friend Cathy said: “Fierce radical love is the only thing that can take us out of this mess and save us. Not woo-woo love. Love that shows up as a commitment to do the morally right thing, one “thing” at a time, with wisdom and expertise. And smarts. And the ability to hold & juggle multiple things at a time.”

Please, let’s not let the fact that the establishment media seems to prefer Warren to Bernie confuse us. It is NO PROOF that she is bad. It could very well mean that the power of love is finally bringing the powerful and the good into alignment. People can call me naive, and I could call them jaded right back, and it doesn’t matter. Let’s be hopeful.

In the end, I want the path to the nomination to be constructive and respectful. I want the essential criteria to be similar to those I use while mothering of my two boys:

Equality is a good value to have but it’s not really a goal kind of value. It’s a means to the real goal king of value. No one wants equality of suffering. The real goal is everyone thriving, in the myriad ways that work for us. We all deserve equal opportunity to have happiness, equal access to healthcare, childcare, nourishment, and shelter. Equal chances at influence and creativity, with room for all of the different ways these values and needs are expressed.

I believe we will get there faster with Warren in the driver’s seat. Hopefully with Bernie right there by her side. While the polls all predict Bernie as the nominee, my ideas may amount to nothing more than a thought exercise, but it’s a worthy one. Bernie’s current advantage would make backing Warren all the more powerfully anti-patriarchal. So what if this isn’t likely. A mom could hope, and many mothers could turn the tide.
May the power of love guide the primaries, the elections, and the elected.

Evolution, everybody. Let’s usher it in with a mother in the oval office.

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