15 Tips to Help you Become a Better Listener

Distractions. Inattention. Boredom. How to stay connected.

A client I worked with once told me that when she is in a conversation with someone and if the topic at hand isn’t of much interest to her, she literally zones out. As she put it:

“I see their mouth moving but don’t seem to hear the words. My inner world is much more interesting.”

We miss so much- teachers’ lectures, lovers’ murmurings, children’s innocent wondering and questions, driving directions, movie plots…all due to our distractibility.

How can we improve our listening skills so we’re connected with our loved ones, bosses, friends, and others? Let’s jump right in!

1. Become aware of your tendency to mentally roam.

2. Stay in the here and now. Remind yourself that you can think about other things later.

3. Find ways to stay connected. For some, it’s watching the person’s mouth or eyes.

4. When your mind wanders, mentally repeat what the person is saying.

5. Become more interactive in the conversation. If you tend to be a passive listener, practice interjecting your thoughts and ideas.

6. People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions; you’ll be more likely to listen if you are more active in the conversation.

7. If you’re in a class, business meeting, or listening to a lecture, bring fidgets to help you stay focused. Or doodle on a piece of paper. Some find it easier to listen if they take copious notes.

8. Sit in the front of the room at meetings, classes, and presentations. You’ll be less likely to get distracted by others around you.

9. If you have a tendency to take over a conversation, remind yourself to take a break and allow others to have a chance to talk.

10. Don’t be afraid to ask the person to repeat him/herself. If you let the conversation go too long when your mind is elsewhere, it will only get tougher to re-connect. No explanations are needed other than, “can you say that again?”

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