On Wanting to Create a Masterpiece on the First Try

A lesson on the creative process that I relearn every time I write

Every artist wants everything they create to be a masterpiece, to shock the world with its shining colors. Writers are no exception. Art is a reflection of our selves, and if the work we create isn’t special, then what are we?

There’s a romantic idea that the true beauty of art is in the creation process. I don’t believe that. Sure, I write for myself sometimes, but often, I write for others: that’s why I write on Medium. And when I look deeper, there’s a part of writing that comes from a desire to be loved. I want people to see that I have a unique perspective, that I’m special. Artists often love to ignore such narcissistic remarks but — and maybe I’m cynical — it underlies all art. We tell ourselves that we create for others, to make others feel understood, but the desire for ego satisfaction remains an influence.

In writing, this manifests as the powerful psychological torture we call writer’s block. If our words suck, then no one will love them, and hence, no one will love us, and so we can’t type. We’re afraid that others will read our work and hate it, or worse, ignore it. Then we type, press the backspace button, start again, press the backspace button a few more times, and soon, we’re left with nothing but a blank page. The blank page creates a void we so desperately want to avoid. And instead of facing it, we decide we won’t stare at blank pages anymore.

Then we’re blocked.

It’s ridiculous: the idea we can make a masterpiece on the first try. Even Hemingway the Prose King wrote shit.

If Hemingway, a legendary writer, couldn’t avoid writing bad words, what chance do we have? Still, we believe we’re special. For some peculiar reason (maybe because we want to minimize effort), we still believe we can get it right on the first try. I am no exception.

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